To: Referee #1, Referee #2
CC: Lineseman #1, Linesman #2, Head Coach Dan Bylsma
Subject: What the [bleep] happened tonight?
Did you punks not listen to a single thing I've been telling you since the lockout? Why did you shove your whistles in your pocket in that third period and why was there no 4 on 3 in overtime for the [home team] ?!We've been over this a million times, when Garys boy is on the ice with [player 1] you are to immediately call a penalty on the other team! I don't care that this game wasn't televised on Versus and I don't care that it wasn't televised on NBC; the same [bleeping] rules apply. When the [home team] plays in [city] you are too continue giving them power plays until the final whistle blows. If you did your jobs and called an interference call in the last minute of the game to give the [home team] a 5 on 3 that game would have never gone to OT! You are a disgrace to the sport. If you guys think you're calling any playoff games this year you have another thing comin'.
The only thing you morons got right all game was not calling a boarding penalty on that little fake artist in the third period. That faker can dive head first into the boards all he wants - you guys aren't calling a penalty.
You are a [bleeping] disgrace.
Nice touch giving the [away team] an unsportsmanlike after the second goal. As furious as I am, that was creative and might just save your asses!
Editorial Note: No, this email is not real, it is a spoof. Laugh!