BREAKING NEWS: SATHER SIGNS 3-YEAR EXTENSION
by Rob L on Apr 1, 2010 1:30 PM EDT
in Bantering Around
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Sources from inside the New York Rangers have confirmed to me that Glen Sather has signed a three (3) year contract extension this morning to remain as the GM of the New York Rangers. Citing his fantastic ability to sign under-the-radar free agents to appropriate contracts, Jim Dolan and fellow executives feel that Sather is "One free agent signing away from an 8th seed playoff spot." Music to all Blueshirt fans, I'm sure. Follow me after the jump as I collect reactions from many different angles along with Glen Sather himself.
- First up, Rangers coach John Tortorella:
"I think Slats has done a great job. I have two, maybe three players that are able to play on a consistent basis and any coach would kill for that. I'll have to talk to him about this Lundqvist character in net who has been giving up some softies as of late, but that will pan itself out seeing as we have a never ending roulette of backup goaltenders. One great pickup this season has been Jody Shelley, I mean the guy is on fire with 3 assists in 15 games and he can fight! No matter how this season ends I know Slats will really come through in the summer with a solid free agent signing."
- Current Ranger Goaltender Henrik Lundqvist:
"I'm ****ing pissed..."
Well said, Hank.
- Current Ranger Wade Redden:
"Slats really knows a player when he sees him. Calm, cool, collected; that's what he wants. Giving opposing forwards plenty of room at the blue-line is a trick he taught Rozi and I, and it seems to be working out great (except when they shoot, I hate blocking shots cause sometimes it hurts and then I don't want to play that much). Any way you put it Glen has a great history and years to go ahead of him."
- Former Ranger Blair Betts:
"Slats has his own way of doing things, that's for sure. I loved my time as a Ranger and thought I did a damn good job with my defensive forward duties, but apparently I didn't reach my statistical benchmarks according to Glen. I never did have the heart to tell him that the last time I broke 50 points was in juniors, though."
- Former Rangers Marek Malik and Dmitri Kalinin (on conference call):
Me: Hey guys thanks for this, so the news is that Sather will be the Rangers GM for at least 3 more years.
Malik: Really? Nice!
Kalinin: Hey Marek give him a call about getting us back into the NHL, remind him of that shootout goal you had a while back.
Malik: Yeah yeah, no problem I was thinking the same thing.
Kalinin: Ok great, I'll send a box of Cubans right now.
Me: Oh God...
---BEEP BEEP BEEP Call was Lost!---
Finally, the man himself (over the phone), Glen Sather:
"I'm grateful to the New York Ranger organization and Jimmy Dolan as always. I vow that I will work harder than ever to take this team to the next level, aka 7th place in the playoffs. This may take the entirety of my contract, but it's the long term goals that are important here. I'll give you an inside tip, Rob. My buddy John Davidson called, the one who is building an exciting and young Blues team, yeah you know him, anyways he said Keith Tkachuk is really looking like his old point-per-game self out there. He'll only be 39 next season, and I'm sure we could haggle him down to at least $3 million for a season. What a possible steal, right?! Don't let that get out, though, because I might make a tandem deal with the Blues for Paul Kariya too. We'd be unstoppable with that experience, I'll tell ya. (pause of silence)... Rob, you there?"
NOW FOR THE FUN DISCLAIMER: This is in no way a real story nor are any of the quotes. I can't believe I have to write this, but I don't want any BS. I fully support the Fire Glen Sather/End the Sather Era cause. Happy April Fool's day, and please send any clueless Ranger fans to this article.
P.S: You can follow a fake Glen Sather twitter account called The Generalissimo. Good stuff on there most of the time.
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April Fools!
BlueshirtBanter - beating up reporters at bus stops since 1994
"Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right......"
More breaking news!
Nick kypreos is coming out of retirement and will be signing a five year 6 million a year contract w the rangers. He was quoted as saying" I look forward to reclaiming my role as resident bum, along w my buddy Jody Shelley"
by Massi on Apr 1, 2010 1:39 PM EDT via mobile reply actions
Now now...
there’s a time and a place for this…
THIS WAS IT!!!!
Thanks!!
I Am HockeyMan!!
Not Dolphins, Penguins, or Shoe-Ins...just Rangers, nothin' but Rangers!!
HA!
Epic!
----Warner----
-------13-------
by Scent of a Woman on Apr 1, 2010 1:58 PM EDT reply actions
Saw the headline and had a moment of nervousness, so I started to read it and was totally suckered in until I read "Jim Dolan and fellow executives feel that Sather is “One free agent signing away from an 8th seed playoff spot.” " Then as I read Torts I realized i’d been HAD. When I read Lundqvist I burst out laughing.
Nicely done.
Trouble is, as much as we’d like to deny it, that is just about how it is over there in Ranger front officeland. Which makes this goof even better.
by bigaudio on Apr 1, 2010 3:02 PM EDT reply actions
hehehe
I was bawling, thanks for the laugh. Epic.
"Fantasy, reality, science Fiction. Which is which? Who can tell?"
3 year extension? So we are stuck with Sather until 2032?
Blueshirt Banter: Covering the New York Rangers
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by Jim Schmiedeberg on Apr 1, 2010 3:12 PM EDT reply actions
i was definitely fooled!!
since i always come to BB first for my news about the blueshirts, i thought the extension was real but the commentary was not…damn, i really need to start remembering the first of April is Fool’s Day!! maybe ill get it after another 25 yrs on earth! haha…good job fellas in scarin the shit out of everyone!
“terrms not disclosed” – they don’t have to reveal those things for non-players. Also, I believe he’s a member of the board of MSG, Inc.
Originally in 2000, it was rumored that he had a 5 year contract worth $3mm per, with stock options.
BlueshirtBanter - beating up reporters at bus stops since 1994
"Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right......"
I WAS LOOKING FOR THE HIGHEST BUILDING TO JUMP OFF OF
Gives a whole new meaning to “More after the jump!”
Had me...
Until the quotes started. Good thing I was at work or I might have done something dangerous like become a devil’s fan
You got me good
I was about to go crazy then the rest of the story loaded and I was ok. Still that was hilaious +1000
by klh2009 on Apr 1, 2010 4:25 PM EDT via mobile reply actions
Lost in Translation
Russian web site Championat.ru picked up the story and is reporting it as fact. LOL.
Oh God ha ha
Hey thanks all for the praise. I’m glad it came off funny for everyone.
Blueshirt Banter - End the Sather Era
US Soccer - The Yanks Are Coming
Red Sox Fan behind Enemy lines.
I love how we are laughing about this
as though he isn’t gonna be around for 3 more years
Blueshirt Banter: Covering the New York Rangers the only NHL team with three home arenas.
Well Done Rob
very funny
Blueshirt Banter: www.blueshirtbanter.com
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Follow Me on Twitter: twitter.com/RangersTribune
you got me!
i actually saw the article, before the jump and sighed..
then i realized i got got!
You can't fool me that easily
…there’s no way Sather would sign for anything less than 6 years.
Bettman's Nightmare: A Blog Where Hockey Aficionados Dismantle That Mighty Empire, One Balsillie at a Time
http://bettmansnightmare.blogspot.com/
by Bettman's Nightmare on Apr 1, 2010 6:40 PM EDT reply actions
NO!
NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
oh wait, this is a joke….
Undiscovered Country
Damitow Records
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www.myspace.com/undiscountry
www.damitow.com/label
by Undiscovered Country theuc.us on Apr 1, 2010 7:36 PM EDT reply actions
Awesome.
The 3-5 seconds my brain was starting to process was priceless. Let my guard down for the day and ya got me. Well done.
Dies anyone know if Avery is traveling with the team? Callahan as well? Trying to gauge hear injuries. Haven’t seen much in the post or daily news. Otherthan you guys and wfan that’s where I get my info.
by IAMARANGER16 on Apr 1, 2010 8:54 PM EDT via mobile reply actions
I believe both are with the team – I know Avery is. Voros posted a pic of Avery/Hank/Gabby and Voros in a van in Tampa. Here’s the link: http://tweetphoto.com/16549538
BlueshirtBanter - beating up reporters at bus stops since 1994
"Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right......"
That’s a funny pic. Voros and Avery are always together, I wonder if Voros gets any of Sean’s slop……nevermind
Blueshirt Banter: Covering the New York Rangers
Big Blue View: Unofficial New York Giants blog
by Jim Schmiedeberg on Apr 1, 2010 9:16 PM EDT up reply actions
Classic
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Gei4bxzvvg&feature=youtube_gdata
great night off with all 3 teams ahead losing. I want playoff hockey. We’ll fix the team later.
by IAMARANGER16 on Apr 1, 2010 10:32 PM EDT via mobile reply actions
There's some things you just dont joke about...
and THIS is one of them :P
oh my god ..
daniel son mr. miyagi say dont make funny joke about sather getting new deal cause miaygi will get mad kiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa hayaaaaaaaaaaa..
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