Not So Award Winning Performances
by Jim Schmiedeberg on Apr 22, 2010 7:00 AM EDT
in New York Rangers Analysis
Email
PrintSo the dust has settled for the Rangers on the 2009-10 season, we've eulogized them, and laid them to rest. We lauded the best players last week when we brought you the Rangers NHL award-winners, but now it's time to "honor" some of the other fine contributions the Rangers had this year.
So we've gathered the winners together here at the Sizzler in Yonkers, and I am dressed to the nines in my powder blue tuxedo, it's time to get to the winners, and then Hall and Oates will be here to play for us after the ceremonies. Here we go!
The Ozo/Ndur/Horava Award, given to the worst defenseman on the Rangers: C'mon folks, there can only be one winner here, and its Wade Redden. Congratulations Wade! Oh well it looks like Wade somehow managed to take a bad penalty on his way to the podium, so Michal Rozsival will accept on his behalf. Well, better make that a 5-on-3; can we get Matt Gilroy up here to accept please?
By the way, in the not so distant future, we will have to rename that award.
The Jimmy Hoffa Award, given to the Ranger who pulls the best disappearing act of the season: Our winner is Bobby Sanguinetti, if anyone has seen him; please tell him to contact Blueshirt Banter to collect his award.
The Seinfeld Finale Award, given to the Ranger player who violates the "Duty to Rescue Law" goes to Dan Girardi, for not helping Marian Gaborik during his "fight" with Carcillo. Let it be known there were about a dozen runners-up for this award, for numerous performances.
The "Boy Named Sue" Award, given to the toughest player with a girl's name, goes to Jody Shelley. Honorable mention to Marian Gaborik.
The "WTF?" Award goes to Aaron Voros, for referring to himself as "The People's Champ" on Twitter.
So there you have it, my goofy little award presentation. Feel free to come up with some of your own in the thread.
23 comments
|
0 recs |
Do you like this story?
Comments
Can we give Brashear the “I’m paid to fight but not tonight” award?
by mjbnyr on Apr 22, 2010 8:40 AM EDT via mobile reply actions
We need some sort of “Get some glasses!” Award, which would go to Chris FANS ON THE SHOT Higgins.
The Rocky IV award, which would go to Callahan for trying to hit guys like Chara/Myers every game.
The Puckophobia award, Michal Roszival, for his inability to keep the puck in at the blue line (or anywhere else for that matter).
The “Please, think of the children” award, Olli Jokinen, who’s face will give children nightmares forever and he could star in his own horror movie sans make-up.
The “Watch where the fuck you’re going” award, for Artem Anisimov, who needs to keep his head up lest he get it taken off.
The “Missed me, missed me, now you gotta kiss me” award, to Stephen Valiquette. I’ll let you all drawn your own conclusions here.
The “MEDIC!!!!” award goes to Brandon Dubinsky, who will hopefully think next time before he puts his unprotected hand in front of a slapshot.
And lastly, the “GET THE FUCK OUTTA THE WAY!” award, which goes to John Tortorella, for always blocking our view of the hottie in the 1st row wearing a low cut shirt and no panties. Damn you Torts….DAMN YOU!
Love the last one! I’m always yelling at the screen saying “Just a little to the left” as the camera pans the Rangers bench.
by 76 Blueshirt on Apr 22, 2010 10:42 AM EDT up reply actions
WTF is right
I don’t understand this. Why does he call himself that. Well I am going to Sean avery’s bar tonight maybe I will see them both. Anyone else wanna come?
by Massi on Apr 22, 2010 11:06 AM EDT via mobile reply actions
The SHOVE IT Award goes to...
Sean Avery for his 4 point game against the dallas Stars!
That was a fun game to be at!
You guys are putting up better ones than I did, I love it! This is why Ranger fans are the best.
Blueshirt Banter: Covering the New York Rangers
Big Blue View: Unofficial New York Giants blog
by Jim Schmiedeberg on Apr 22, 2010 11:47 AM EDT reply actions
Good Ones Guys
How bout the “Newest Gift From Buffalo Award” For Ales Kotalik
Also, the “I overpaid a player to hope Drury will play better award” for Slats
Why not just change the first one to The Pylon Award? Or is the problem that even pylons stop the puck occasionally?
Bettman's Nightmare: We See a Good Bettman/Fans Metaphor When We See One, and Frankly, Lane Smith Was Too Hard on Emilio Estevez When He Was A Kid.
http://bettmansnightmare.blogspot.com/
by Bettman's Nightmare on Apr 22, 2010 1:52 PM EDT reply actions
Our buddy Stan from Bayside would call it the Lampost Award
Blueshirt Banter: Covering the New York Rangers
Big Blue View: Unofficial New York Giants blog
by Jim Schmiedeberg on Apr 22, 2010 3:25 PM EDT up reply actions
The “Show us your guts!” award. Mr. Michael Del Zotto, for his brave attempt at falling on Malkin’s skate and actually trying to literally show us his guts. Bravo sir!
What else we got:
The “Me and my girlfriend were engaging in erotic foreplay and just as I was about to ‘put the puck in the net’, I couldn’t get it up” award, to Olli Jokinen, for the last play of the Rangers season, when he picked up speed circling in the Flyer’s end, NY fans bubbling with excitement and anticipation, flew at Brian Boucher, carrying the hopes of the Ranger’s season on his stick, only to flop with a cheap-ass attempt at slipping in a lazy 5-hole backhand.
And we spent the rest of the evening cursing at the ineptitude, wondering why things don’t work, punching inanimate objects, trying in our minds to desperately revive something that was seemingly dead. We were also mad at Olli.
The Petr Prucha memorial trophy
The inagurla PPM Award goes to the former Ranger that has gotten a chance to shine somewhere else, escaping the darkness that is Rangers Hockey only to flourish somewhere else…..Goes to Nik Antropov
the “Im so depressed I cant keep my head up because Lisin is scratched” goes too Artem Anisimov
by CrazyRangerFan on Apr 22, 2010 11:36 PM EDT reply actions
I remember Ndur because he was the first black player I ever seen on the Rangers and I believe Ozo is Ozolinsh, but who is the other guy
by The Last Shall Become First on Apr 23, 2010 2:54 PM EDT reply actions
my face is a punching bag award
goes to voros for gettin his face punched in almost every time he fought, sometimes giving the other team momentum in the process
Comments For This Post Are Closed
Secondary Sidebar
User Tools
FanPosts
Community blog posts and discussion.
Recent FanPosts
Atlantic Standings
| GP | W | L | OTL | PT | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
New York Rangers
|
51 | 33 | 13 | 5 | 71 |
|
Philadelphia
|
53 | 30 | 16 | 7 | 67 |
|
New Jersey
|
53 | 31 | 19 | 3 | 65 |
|
Pittsburgh
|
54 | 30 | 19 | 5 | 65 |
|
New York Islanders
|
52 | 22 | 22 | 8 | 52 |
(updated 2.9.2012 at 9:25 AM EST)
Rangers Schedule
Next 5 Games
|
Tampa Bay
|
Thu 02/09 | 7:00 PM EST |
|
@
Philadelphia
|
Sat 02/11 | 1:00 PM EST |
|
Washington
|
Sun 02/12 | 12:30 PM EST |
|
@
Boston
|
Tue 02/14 | 7:00 PM EST |
|
Chicago
|
Thu 02/16 | 7:00 PM EST |
Last 5 Games
|
New Jersey
|
Tue 02/07 | L 0 - 1 |
|
Philadelphia
|
Sun 02/05 | W 5 - 2 |
|
@
Buffalo
|
Wed 02/01 | SO - W 1 - 0 |
|
@
New Jersey
|
Tue 01/31 | SO - L 3 - 4 |
|
Winnipeg
|
Tue 01/24 | W 3 - 0 |
SBNation.com Recent Stories
In Association With
Latest Puck Daddy - NHL from Yahoo! Sports
- Puck Previews: Leafs meet Flyers; Steve Yzerman not playing in Winter Classic Alumni Game?
- Three theories on why Hurricanes might pull Tuomo Ruutu off trading block
- Mike Babcock wary of Red Wings on ‘HBO 24/7′, earning YouTube infamy
- Puck Headlines: Tim Thomas talks Facebook; Jimmy Howard’s health; Make It Nine in Canada?
- Montreal’s Catholic Church urges Canadiens fans to pray for a miracle
Certain photos copyright © 2012 by Associated Press or Getty Images. Any commercial use or distribution without the express written consent of Associated Press and Getty Images is strictly prohibited.
