Glen Sather and Dave Tallon's phone call that resulted in the Bryan McCabe trade. Enjoy.
Glen Sather: Hey Dave! How's the playoff hunt going?
Dave Tallon: Not funny.
GS: C'mon, just a little humor to start the negotiations! Now, down to business. I want Bryan McCabe.
DT: And I want Alex Ovechkin. What can you give me for McCabe?
GS: I don't know, what do you want?
DT: I hear that Mike Del Zotto kid is pretty good.
GS: Nah, you don't want him, he doesn't shoot well.
DT: How about Matt Gilroy?
GS: No can do, Torts says he has too much jam to trade...whatever that means.
DT: Well, we want a defenseman in return.
GS: You know we do have this one guy in the AHL, his name is Wade Redden, ever heard of him?
DT: Yes. No chance Glen. We want actual talent.
GS: But this guy is a great clubhouse presence! The Whale youngsters have even taken to call him "mother whale."
DT: I don't want Redden. Not even for my ECHL squad. How about Brandon Prust?
GS: Blasphemy! You're starting to sound like Joe Nieuwendyk!
JN: Hey Glen, do you want Richards for a first round pick, the rights to Mark Messier's retired number, the rights to the New York Knicks, Mike Del Zotto, Derek Stepan, and John Tortorella's hair gel?
DT: I want a draft pick, let's start there, then.
GS: I'll give you a 5th rounder.
DT: I want a first rounder, you are getting our captain!
GS: This guy was once captain of the Islanders. What a joke.
DT: Fine, 2nd rounder.
GS: I'll give you a 3rd rounder.
JN: HEY GLEN DID YOU KNOW BRAD RICHARDS WAS DRAFTED IN THE 3RD ROUND?!?!?!?!?
GS: Prust, take care of this for me?
*Sounds of screaming are heard as Prust and Sather laugh*
DT: Fine, 3rd rounder it is. I want an AHL guy too. The Whale sound like a real tough team.
GS: That's what we were aiming for with the name. Who do you want?
DT: Pavel Valentenko?
GS: Pavel ValentenkNO
DT: Good one. Who can you give me?
GS: You know there's this great defenseman Wade Redden...
DT: I'm hanging up in a minute.
GS: Fine, we have this star by the name of Stu Bickel that we haven't promoted yet because Torts says he doesn't have enough jam again.
DT: What is it with Torts and jam?
GS: Long story, he's allergic to jelly so he uses jam as a motivational skill to make up for it.
DT: That's upsetting. We'll take Kennedy.
GS: Woah woah woah there speed racer, we want Stephen Weiss if we trade Bickel.
SW: I'M GETTING TRADED?!?!?!?
DT: Quiet down Stephen, no Weiss in any deal Glenjamin.
SW: AW CMON!
GS: Fine we will give you a 3rd round draft pick and Tim Kennedy for McCabe. We'll even throw in Michiletti's analysis.
DT: Keep the analysis and you have yourself a deal.
Sam Rosen, JM: These negotiations have a great pace to it!
GS: Let's just make the trade call so we can shut these guys up.