(New York) Monday, June 20, 2011

At a press conference today at Madison Square Garden, New York Rangers President and General Manager turned the podium over to Chris Drury.

Mr. Drury proceeded to announce his retirement from the NHL after a career spanning 12 seasons with the Avalanche, Flames, Sabres and Rangers. In 892 career regular season games, he totaled 255 goals and 360 assists. In 135 career playoff games, he totaled 47 goals and 42 assists.

Coming off a disappointing season which saw him injure the same hand twice, and then fall victim to a balky knee, Drury's big moment of the 2010/11 season came when he rallied the Rangers from a 1 goal deficit by scoring a diving tally against Martin Brodeur and the New Jersey Devils in the final regular season game, in his first shift back from a long injury layoff, helping to assure the Rangers (with help from Carolina later in the day) of making the Stanley Cup playoffs.

More after the jump.

Drury thanked the Rangers and Glen Sather for his years with the organization, and tearfully wished that he could have remained healthy to continue playing. "The knee just wouldn't cooperate - as much as I wished it would heal, I couldn't see myself going through another of Tort's Terror Camps and surviving. The sonuvabitch tries to kill you, and this year he might have succeeded".

As Glen Sather returned to the podium, he announced that Chris would be remaining with the organization in an as yet unspecified coaching role. "We believe that Chris was the best first passer in the......oh....no....that was (mumble mumble)......that Chris was a fantastic captain and leader in the locker room, and we look forward to him being able to continue acting as a leader and teacher for our young core".

Drury's days in New York City and Ranger blue would best be described as "unfulfilling". Signed to a rich free agent contract on July 1, 2007 (along with Scott Gomez), Rangers fans expected that the combination, with Jaromir Jagr still on the roster, would return the team to the promised-land of the Stanley Cup. Neither were able to find chemistry with Jagr, who departed for the KHL at the conclusion of that season.

Time, and injuries took their toll on Drury, who does have his name inscribed on Lord Stanley's cup from his 3rd NHL season with Colorado, as well as the Calder Cup as Rookie of the Year in 1998-99. "I really wish I'd been able to get the NY Rangers on that cup again", he said. Shrugging in the way he always did in the locker room, he added:

"Maybe I'll do a Stanley Cup Pizza instead"

This post is satire, combined with a HUGE dose of wishful thinking. But none of us are holding our breath.....Farewell Chris. You're a great guy and were a great player, and I truly wish you well in your future endeavors, even while having a couple of laughs at your expense. :-)