Guilty Pleasures

Ok, higher-ups, if I step on toes prematurely here, feel free to delete this.

So I usually, when stuck, give myself a writing exercise to untrack myself. Of late I've been getting the hell kicked out of me by a political satire/comedy that's just making me miserable, which is, in turn, making me not want to finish it, which is, in turn, annoying a production exec out in Hollywoodland...

Usually my excursions involve just writing whatever comes into my head: a proper pitch on how to do a Wonder Woman movie (Amazons are female Spartans, this isn't that hard, Warner Brothers), notes on a 1950s spy novel I've had tumbling in my head, a complete re-imaging of what the Rangers fortunes would have been with smarter personnel moves by Emile Francis from the early 70s onward....wait, what? That's a whole separate blog I may yet get to some day....

Anyway, Wyshynski's Puck Daddy special to pass the days in August until training camp is, like last year's Mount Puckmore (oh, the agita Jim wound up with) is called Guilty Pleasures, featuring guest bloggers answering nine questions about the sport they love.

Hoping to get my brain focused for the workload ahead, I spent twenty minutes writing this up. The formatting took longer than the answering.

Again, not sure if somebody is already doing one for Puck Daddy....I just needed to get the juices flowing tonight.

1. The Player You Most Love To Hate

Without question....Martin Brodeur. Blah blah blah greatest goaltender ever, blah blah blah Stanley Cups, whatever. All I see when I look at him is a guy using these things for his hockey pants who boned his sister in law and had his wife reveal the whole thing during a playoff run. Remember when Charles Wang jokingly (?) suggested using sumo wrestlers as goaltenders? A first round pick to the Devils for Fatso and he could've done his own experimentation. Hell, he must've hoped to lure him as a free agent....why else would they roll out those cupcakes? NOM NOM NOM NOM

2. Other Than Your Own, The Team You Can't Help Rooting For

The Blackhawks. Partly because I could relate to their pain last year as a downtrodden Original Six team with a ridiculously long drought suffering at the @sshole fans of another team with more recent successes. But mostly because the 'Hawks jersey is just awesome. Plus I was a big Roenick fan as a kid.

3. Favorite Fight Or Brawl Of All Time

Tommy Salo, meet Dan Cloutier. Dan Cloutier, introduce yourself to the Islanders.

Rangers vs Islanders Apr 4, 1998 (via hockeyfightsdotcom)

4. The Hideous-Looking Hockey Jersey You Secretly Love The Most

The San Diego Gulls. Ugh. But WANT.

via i168.photobucket.com

5. Your Favorite Hockey Cliche (terminology, traditions, announcer-speak, etc.)

"Just gotta go out and play our game". Translation: What the hell do you want me to say? That we've been spanked in the first three games of this series and have no chance of winning? Cue Joe Pesci's mom in Goodfellas: Shut up, you're always talking.

6. The Injury You Couldn't Stop Staring At (Non-Skate Lacerations Only)

We all knew it was going to happen, and finding a team to root for in Philly-Devils is like rooting for syphillis vs. herpes with a prostitute....but DAMN, Eric, should've kept your head up....

Bonus points to Darren Pang for a live on-air jisgasm.

1999-00 Round 3/Game 7: Scott Stevens Hits Eric Lindros (via McKay4429061)

7. Your Favorite Cheesy Hockey Reference in Popular Culture

I can tell you my least favorite: the Islander crap E keeps in his office on Entourage. Kevin Connolly should start perusing ebay for Quebec Nordiques stuff.

7a. Your Favorite Terrible Hockey Card or Hockey Action Figure

Anything showcasing the early Pittsburgh Jagr mullet (did you really think there'd be no Jagr on this list?)

via 4.bp.blogspot.com

8. Finally, What's The Thing You Secretly Respect Gary Bettman For The Most?

Figuring out how to open that hockey puck David Stern sent him in 1993.