A Day In The Life Of Glen Sather
by Brandon C. on Feb 22, 2012 6:00 AM EST
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Rather than shoving some more trade rumors down your throat today, I figured I would take a different angle for my post of the day. This angle is one I know a lot of you love, so I look forward to seeing the response. The angle is named....comedy!
Anyway, lots of jokes are made about Glen Sather and how he is a ninja and what this week must be like for him. Let's take a closer look.
6 AM: Wake up, smoke cigar.
6:01 AM: Call from Columbus Blue Jackets GM Scott Howson "Kreider, Dubinsky, Del Zotto, and a first for Rick Nash"
6:01 and 10 seconds AM: Hang up phone.
6:30 AM: Read sports sections of each paper. See an odd trend.
6:45 AM: Google "Jeremy Lin," find out if he can play the point on the power play.
7:00 AM: Prank phone call Tom Renney asking how Edmonton is doing. Laugh to self.
Follow me for the rest of the day after the jump
7:00 AM-10:00 AM- Practice ninja art of trading, play XBOX 360 version of NHL 12 and rip off teams in trades. Pretend to self that "opposing teams accept all trades" feature is off.
10:00 AM-11:00 AM- Long phone call with Columbus Blue Jackets GM Scott Howson, a serious one this time. Howson offers Jeff Carter for Brandon Dubinsky and a 2nd round pick. Sather thinks to himself "would a ninja make this trade? Would someone like William Shatner make this trade?" Decline trade, wait for Howson to become desperate.
11:00 AM-12:45 PM- Meetings with Jim Dolan, explaining that the Rangers would need to add to the cap in order to add Rick Nash. Explain to Dolan that more money means a great chance at a Championship. Laugh at Dolan's jokes about how he's never watched a game, wonder if he's actually joking.
12:45 PM-3:45 PM- Take nap, leave phone on endless voicemail "This is Glen Sather, New York Rangers trade guru. Please call back between the hours of 6 AM and 12 PM and I will rip you off discuss a trade with you."
3:45 PM-6:45 PM- Prepare to watch game, talk to scouts in attendance, tell Brandon Dubinsky he's been traded, take it back, repeat. Call Wade Redden and tell him he's been promoted, call back and say "just kidding Mother Whale, you're staying in Connecticut," repeat.
6:45-7:00 PM- Remove ninja gear.
7:00 PM-9:30 PM- Watch Rangers win.
9:30 PM-12:00 AM- Sleep. He is an old man, you know!
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i think at 930 he gives another call into nashville asking if their loss makes him more desperate.
ps no need to wake up at midnight, messes up his next day, let him sleep til 6
Insert witty comeback here
by birdmansns on Feb 22, 2012 6:28 AM EST via Android app reply actions
It’s a DAY in the life of Sather, of course he continues sleeping!
Follow me on twitter @nyybrandonc
Co-Manager/Writer for Pinstripe Alley, Editor/Writer for Blueshirt Banter, Writer for On The Banks
by Brandon C. on Feb 22, 2012 11:33 AM EST via mobile up reply actions
Not Bad Brandon
you forgot turn water in to wine by trading Redden to the Canadiens for Tomas Plekanec and their first round draft choice in 2012.
You forgot the prank calls to Bob Gainey
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by Jim Schmiedeberg on Feb 22, 2012 9:13 AM EST reply actions
Redden for LeBlanc, Beaulieu and the Unibroue brewery
Last night, a comedian died in New York. Somebody knows why. Somebody knows
by Rorschach44 on Feb 22, 2012 10:32 AM EST up reply actions
Thanks for this Brandon.
If you take a look at this website it looks like were in last place.
"Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."
LET'S GO RANGERS!!!
Well played, Brandon.
As always, I get my best laughs from Satherisms.
"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while...you'll miss it." Ferris Bueller (1985)
by Danz10 on Feb 22, 2012 3:26 PM EST via mobile reply actions
you forgot to add in
His 20 minute daily rehab program:
Light candles.
Sit cross legged on the floor, thumbs and index fingers joined.
“I don’t need to sign another over priced has been … I don’t need to sign an another over paid has been”, while slowly crossing names like Bure, Holik, Redden, Lindros, Gomez, Drury, Jagr, Gretsky, Kasparitis … off the list.
Finish off with with Fraternity style paddling from Torts and Mess while shouting,
“Stay the course!”
“Thank you Mess may I have another!”
“Stay the course!”
Thank you Torts may I have another!"
Then spend 1 hour reading Smurf’s advanced metrics.
"There are some people who, if they don't already know, you can't tell 'em." - Yogi
Just kidding Mother Whale
“Go expose your veteran teats to the young pups and let them suck you dry of any and all useful information you might have to bestow upon them. And don’t you dare give them any ideas about the breakout pass.”
Wade Redden teats. Oh yes.
Great work BC.
@DigDeepNYR
"It's just pain." -Brandon Prust | "The arsonist has oddly shaped feet." - Ron Burgundy
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