We have all been discussing who we should add to bring this team deep into the playoffs, names like Ryan, Carter, and Parise have been floating around on this website as if these were guys we could just pick up next to the gum and National Inquirers when we are waiting in line for the register at the local grocery store. There is another name we have been discussing at length, and I think that he truly is the guy for us. Of course I am talking about the indomitable Tyson Nash.
Tyson Nash seen here with one-time teammate Shane Doan... and yes, that is a fucking jet that they are preparing to fly. Still not sure who we should get before the trade deadline comes and goes? I didn't think so. (Image via cdn.nhl.com)
Will it be hard to get Tyson Nash out of retirement? Probably. According to Wikipedia Nash has a cushy job as the current Radio color guy for the Phoenix Coyotes and has been dominating airways on Radio XTRA 910. Tyson Nash last played professional hockey with the Nippon Paper Cranes in Japan during the 2007-08 hockey season. I tried my damnedest but I couldn’t find his stats from that year (okay, it wasn’t on the Wikipedia article I glanced over and I didn’t want to dig much deeper than that), but that year the ferocious Paper Cranes finished second in the league behind only the even-more ferocious Oji Eagles. And really, what chance does a paper crane have against an eagle? That’s right kids, it has no chance.
... God, nature can be so cruel.
We have all been talking about what sort of impact Nash would have on the powerplay and how he will add another serious scoring threat to the team. However, we have been neglecting the fact that he will add some serious toughness. In his last professional season in North America, Nash registered 23 points and 134 PIM in 54 games with the Toronto Marlies in the AHL. At 5’11" and 191 lbs. Nash might be "undersized" to be a tough guy in the NHL, but let’s be honest, we're going to acquire him for the offense he can add to the team.
I am not sure why you guys have been talking about Nash so much lately on the site. I have only really glanced over a few of the stories and FanPosts about it. Something tells me that Nash's best hockey is probably behind him... but I have been wrong about a few things in my life, including thinking that, "we are going to miss Malik's size." I think Jim Schmiedeberg lives in the Phoenix area, maybe he can kidnap this guy and drive him here, and by kidnap I mean bribe, and by bribe I mean bother with facebook messages. Someone go check to see if he has a facebook. If you guys really, really want (or don’t) want Nash I guess I will just flip a coin and decide to go with what most of you guys want (or don’t want). Besides, if he doesn’t work as a goal scorer, how could a guy with the first name "Tyson" lose a fight? Let’s pay him $7.8 million a year and bring home the cup.