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What Some of the Writers of Blueshirt Banter Did During the Lockout

I'm not going to lie to you, I paid zero attention to the lockout. My philosophy was always that I would care the second the lockout ended, but when the lockout was happening I would not care the slightest bit. I stuck with that and unfollowed the majority of hockey twitterers, but still visited Blueshirt Banter every once in a while.

Every few weeks or so I checked in on the other writers of Blueshirt Banter to see what they were doing during the lockout. Here are the results.

Joe Fortunato: First, Joe ran for President of the United States. Sadly for Joe, he picked Kevin to be his running mate, a huge mistake. Kevin not only said he wanted to ban water consumption (ALL water consumption) but he also demanded that NSync be played on every radio station at all times. Those two laws combined defeated Joe, as Obama re-upped with the USA on a four year deal.

Following his unsuccessful presidential run, Joe hit rock bottom. First Joe tried to get a job at a Greek restaurant, but was informed that he had an "obviously Italian last name." Thinking he was Greek his whole life, Joe called his parents, who not only told him he's Italian, but also told him he was adopted and his real parents are George and Barbara Bush. Poor Joe.

Finally, as the lockout neared its end Joe picked himself up and got his life back together by inventing a new type of snuggie that goes in your shoes and comforts your feet. Joe somehow convinced people these weren't slippers.

Kevin Power: Oh, Kevin. After his unsuccessful VP run, Kevin decided to boycott McDonald's. Why? Not because their food is unhealthy, but because they gave him a girls toy with his Happy Meal by accident. Amazingly enough Kevin received tons of support, gaining 1,000,004 "likes" on his Facebook page. Just as McDonald's was about to be shut down, Kevin missed the press conference so he could take a nap.

Kevin did not stop writing though, as he joined the prestigious website "disneychannel.com" Kevin wrote weekly reviews of hit TV shows like "Ant Farm" and even wrote about old TV shows like "Kim Possible." Kevin was at his happiest.

Dig Deep: Dig spiraled out of control and did tons of drugs with Skillrex. He ended up taking over as their lead singer, which absolutely no one noticed. Dig currently is touring with Madonna and is scheduled to return tomorrow.

Me: I slept. That's basically all I do anyway!

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