Up, Up and Away - USA TODAY Sports
If you have said Rick Nash has been playing like he's from another planet...well, you'd be right.
Last week we at Blueshirt Banter Expose delved into the seedy, underground world of Canadian Military experiments creating Defensemen with mutant healing factors. This week we're going above and beyond the call of duty by shining a light on the Rangers newest and brightest star Rick Nash. Prepare yourselves...this one is huge.
I'll let resident shit stirrer Dig Deep get us started
If we take the letters of "Rick Nash" and re-arrange them we get the phrase "Chains Kr". To the untrained eye this might look like gobbledygook, I can assure you that this is far from the case. Let's look at the word chains shall we? What do chains do? They lock things up, they keep things in place, they constrict things... before Rick Nash became a Ranger he was fettered by the chains of playing professional hockey in Ohio. Ohio, as we all know, is a dreadful place full of cannibals, tractors, and roving packs of manflesh-hungry wild dogs. Is it safe to say that Nash was in chains for the first part of his career? I think I have just proven that it is.And for the second part of the phrase "Chains Kr"... well my friends, any chemist or Google search will tell you that "Kr" is the symbol for the element Krypton on our Periodic Table of Elements. Krypton, of course, is the home planet of Superman. Still not seeing the connections? No? Fine, I've got more.
Rick Nash is eight letters, just like Superman. Rick Nash has played for the Blue Jackets and the Rangers, two teams that have blue and red in their team colors. What are Superman's main colors? Blue and red. Superman's Kryptonian name is Kal-El, which has two syllables, just like "Rick Nash". Rick Nash's official height is just one inch taller than Superman's official height... but they probably did that to throw us off the trail, the bastards.
Need I say more? I didn't think so.
...Yeah, exactly...not only is Rick Nash not human but he is, in fact, Superman. What, still not convinced? Ok, let's move on with some evidence shall we?
While everyone thought that Rick Nash was "hurt" or "concussed" the real reason he missed four games last week was because he was actually in space saving us from an intergalactic threat that would surely doom us all.
What? STILL not convinced? Ok then.
For more evidence Rick Nash has done things on the ice that no mere mortal can do, how does someone so big and strong have hands this smooth and be this light on his feet?
Exactly, they can't. Rick Nash is literally out of this world.
Nash also brings something to this team that Superman brings to all people...hope. While Nash was away the fanbase was out for blood and crying that the world was ending and after Nash returned from his great adventures beyond the stars hope returned with him. Rick Nash is no mere mortal...Rick Nash is Superman
Let's move on to some evidence our intrepid spies have gotten their hands on to give us even more evidence to support our theory: Columbus, Ohio...a somewhat quaint, if not exactly bustling, city is as good of a place as any for a hero to be to grow and learn how to use his amazing abilities for good ala a young Clark Kent did in Smallville..COINCIDENCE? I think not.
Further more...what is the one thing Superman brings to the people that is greater than any of his amazing abilities? Hope, and inspiration. Isn't that exactly what Rick Nash has brought to the Rangers and their fans?
Rick Nash came from his humble, Columbus beginnings to begin his new life as a hero to the many here in New York City and in doing so has inspired his teammates to join him in his never ending fight against bad hockey including some great younger heroes such as the Swedish Flash, the Norse God of Goaltender, Weapon DG and The American Defender.
Rick Nash...Fantastic hockey player and, as you know now, he is also the greatest hero to ever grace us with his presence. Rick Nash fights for Truth, Justice and The Blueshirt Faithful.
So as you can see...we here at Blueshirt Banter Expose has given you a great peak behind the veil while risking our very lives to bring you this information...Come back next week when we bring you even more truths behind the Blueshirts.