Montreal Canadiens Hockey Club and Diving Academy
C/O Marc Bergevin, General Manager
Bell Center, Montreal Canada
Re: Thank you,
As a New York Rangers fan, I'd like to thank you for your contribution to the success of the 2014 New York Rangers. Yeah, yeah, I know, you think I'm getting you mixed up with Bob Gainey and the whole Gomez/McDonagh trade. Well, I'm not. But, in your own way, you have done almost as much as Mr. Gainey, and are well on your way to achieving the same exalted heights, but seriously let me get to the point:
It was you who did the Ranger franchise the service of signing Brandon Prust to that $10 million dollar deal not two months after your hiring in 2012. How's that deal working out for you now? Now, now, Marc, you can't say that signing was accidentally on purpose...that excuse has already been used.
Yeah, yeah, I know. You initially caused some wailing and gnashing of teeth down in Gotham and everywhere else Rangers fans reside. We thought you stole the heart and sole of our fourth line. Rangers fans were amazed that you spent $2.5 mil per year (insert random exchange rate joke here) on a fourth liner. But I guess you needed someone who would stay on their feet and actually play when the rest of your team did their best (worst) imitation of a Chinese Olympic diver. We were really po'd at Sather for letting Prust go, even though as a fourth liner for the Rangers under Torts, he made more money per minute of ice time than he ever would under his new contract with your team.
Little did we Rangers fans realize that a short two years later, your signing of Prust would open the way up for this team to assemble a fourth line that has us on the edge's of our seats. Instead of Prust, we have Brian Boyle, a shot blocking, stretch passing machine. Yeah, he can break jaws like Prust, but then again, isn't having your player on the ice more important? Instead of David Rupp we have Derek Dorsett. (Do I really need to say anything more?) And instead of John Mitchell we have Dominic Moore, who has proven his value by sliding up in place of those (let me paraphrase your coach/fans here): who break their jaws/hurt their shoulders when your choir boys breathe on them too hard.
Well, I guess I better go now. We both have to get ready for June. I will be seeing if I can juggle my work schedule to make a trip to Chicago/LA. I hear that your diving academy classes are filling up fast, so I'm sure your plate will be full too. I'm sure there's no truth to that rumor that Prust will be humping your bag to make up for those two days of lost pay. Just make sure that Michele has enough time this summer to tip those free Molsons with Mr. Jackson (although I heard Michele prefers whine) before coming up with next year's plan, errr excuses.Thanks again for helping/pushing Sather to retool the fourth line. Oh, and sorry to Brandon about that declining exchange rate of the American dollar. Instead of imported wine, he'll be stuck with sour grapes.
A satisfied Rangers' fan