A Day In The Life Of Glen Sather
Rather than shoving some more trade rumors down your throat today, I figured I would take a different angle for my post of the day. This angle is one I know a lot of you love, so I look forward to seeing the response. The angle is named....comedy!
Anyway, lots of jokes are made about Glen Sather and how he is a ninja and what this week must be like for him. Let's take a closer look.
6 AM: Wake up, smoke cigar.
6:01 AM: Call from Columbus Blue Jackets GM Scott Howson "Kreider, Dubinsky, Del Zotto, and a first for Rick Nash"
6:01 and 10 seconds AM: Hang up phone.
6:30 AM: Read sports sections of each paper. See an odd trend.
6:45 AM: Google "Jeremy Lin," find out if he can play the point on the power play.
7:00 AM: Prank phone call Tom Renney asking how Edmonton is doing. Laugh to self.
Follow me for the rest of the day after the jump
7:00 AM-10:00 AM- Practice ninja art of trading, play XBOX 360 version of NHL 12 and rip off teams in trades. Pretend to self that "opposing teams accept all trades" feature is off.
10:00 AM-11:00 AM- Long phone call with Columbus Blue Jackets GM Scott Howson, a serious one this time. Howson offers Jeff Carter for Brandon Dubinsky and a 2nd round pick. Sather thinks to himself "would a ninja make this trade? Would someone like William Shatner make this trade?" Decline trade, wait for Howson to become desperate.
11:00 AM-12:45 PM- Meetings with Jim Dolan, explaining that the Rangers would need to add to the cap in order to add Rick Nash. Explain to Dolan that more money means a great chance at a Championship. Laugh at Dolan's jokes about how he's never watched a game, wonder if he's actually joking.
12:45 PM-3:45 PM- Take nap, leave phone on endless voicemail "This is Glen Sather, New York Rangers trade guru. Please call back between the hours of 6 AM and 12 PM and I will rip you off discuss a trade with you."
3:45 PM-6:45 PM- Prepare to watch game, talk to scouts in attendance, tell Brandon Dubinsky he's been traded, take it back, repeat. Call Wade Redden and tell him he's been promoted, call back and say "just kidding Mother Whale, you're staying in Connecticut," repeat.
6:45-7:00 PM- Remove ninja gear.
7:00 PM-9:30 PM- Watch Rangers win.
9:30 PM-12:00 AM- Sleep. He is an old man, you know!