Blueshirt Banter End Of the Season Awards
The season may be over, but there are several players who deserve being recognized. So without further ado, I present to you the Blueshirt Banter End of the Season Awards, or at least my version of them:
The "Ooh My Achin Back Award" once again goes to Henrik Lundqvist, who had to once again carry the offensively-challenged Rangers down the stretch and into the playoffs. I think it's really time to put some offensive talent in front of him, which leads me to the......
"Dwight Schrute Invisible Ink Award", which goes to Marian Gaborik, for disappearing when the lights were shined on him.
We have a tie for the "Johnny Knoxville Award", as Ryan Callahan and Dan Girardi abused their bodies so much this year that the bruises may not heal until two years after they've retired......speaking of Knoxville, that leads me to the.......
"Jackass award", which goes to Erik Christensen, for throwing teammate Sean Avery under the bus after Avery punched Ladislav Smid of the Edmonton Oilers, Keep your mouth shut and your eyes open Erik, you just might learn something.
The "Sig Hansen Award" goes to Brandon Prust, who is tough enough to captain a crab boat through the Bering Sea, and helps Rangers fans break one of the Ten Commandments by worshipping another God.
The "Nicholas Cage Acting Award" goes to Matt Gilroy, who for some reason had to read "Hi, I'm Matt Gilroy" off of a cue card during a Public Service Announcement.
The "D.B. Sweeney Award" goes to Bryan Boyle, for taking figure skating lessons and toe-picking and figure-eighting his way to a career year. I don't think it's an understatement to say that Barb Underhill saved his hockey career.
The "D.B. Cooper Award" goes to Wade Redden, who grabbed a couple of bagfuls of money and jumped out of a plane somewhere over Hartford, and hasn't been heard from since.
The "DBMaven Award" goes to dbmaven, because he paid me to give it to him.
The "Irony Can Be Pretty Ironic Sometimes Award" goes to me, for moving to Phoenix only to have my frequent whipping boy Michal Rozsival follow me here soon after.