I Hate How Much I Love You, Game 7

I don't really know what to feel, to be honest. I don't know what to think, either. I'm sitting down trying to write something and I'm not sure what to pen because, well, sometimes this team does that to me. Game 7? That really does it to me.

Someone is going to die tonight, and it's a surreal feeling to know that it might be you. Or it might not be you. A Game 7 is one of those rare moments that either kills you dead or makes you feel more alive than you've ever felt before. Hanging the balance hours before the game? That's not as much fun.

Game 7 is funny because it can be a lot of things. It can be really good (like it is for the Rangers since they had to come back from 3-1 down to force it), really bad (for the exact opposite reason) or the result of a well fought battle between two teams that never found a way to take a stranglehold on the series. No matter what it is, though, it's an opportunity for both teams to finish the series. The past doesn't matter anymore.

They're remarkably fun to watch when you have no actual investment in either team playing. Inside the bubble? It's a thick hell that consumes your every moment inside. I never actually enjoy a playoff game until it's over and I can watch highlights knowing what has already happened. During the game my hands are clenched, by heart is racing and I'm trying to make sure every little superstition is taken care of because that means something dammit and you can't tell me any differently. Game 7 is like that on steroids while currently going through some roid rage. I love every second of it.

But my God do I hate to love it. It's a horrifying experience that does nothing more than stress me out over something I can't control, keeps me up at night, distracts me from work, gives me a stomach ache and pushes emotions to the surface that don't make sense.

And yet you beg to live through it so you can do it again. And you don't even think twice.

I cannot tell you I'm confident because I'm never confident in these situations. Any team can beat anyone at any times, especially in the playoffs. Hockey can be a funny game -- and I think this series has proven it -- and sometimes a game comes down to a bounce. So naturally Game 7 can come down to a bounce. So a bounce can kill a season and revive another. A bounce can force me to leave Madison Square Garden tonight silent and depressed or very loud and happy. There will not be an in-between.

In a way it makes you feel alive even though you feel like you're going to die during the process. It's so awesome even if it's really scary.

Imagine an entire season, an entire year of dreams, getting revenge from last year, changing the ending and finally finishing the job all coming down to one Game 7 just for the chance to move on to do it again two more times.

God I hate it.

But let's survive so we can do it again if needed. I don't want it to end because God do I love it.