MTPS: Taking the Rangers to the Pitt-y Party
It pains Rangers fans to admit it, but the Penguins’ quiet retool might offer the exact roadmap New York needs to get back into contention.
I hate the Pittsburgh Penguins.
I hate the Pittsburgh Penguins so much that I hate the movie Sudden Death because it takes place against the backdrop of a Pittsburgh Penguins' Stanley Cup Final game. Literally the only thing I find redeeming about the Pittsburgh Penguins is that they do not (yet) employ Tom Wilson.
I say this so that you understand that my feelings about the Penguins are not a casual dislike. This is not “oh, they beat my team in a playoff series once” kind of resentment. This is the deep, generational sports loathing that seeps into your DNA somewhere between your first playoff heartbreak and your third Sidney Crosby highlight on SportsCenter (back when SportsCenter actually did sports highlights).
And unfortunately for me—and many fans of the New York Rangers—the Penguins are doing something even more offensive lately.
They’re becoming … responsible.
This is deeply unfair.
For nearly two decades, the Penguins have been the kid in class who somehow aces every exam despite clearly spending most of the semester eating glue. They won three Stanley Cups in the era of NHL parity with the same core: Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin, and Kris Letang. Meanwhile, the rest of the Metropolitan Division had to watch this trio age like fine wine while our own rosters aged like milk left in the sun in August in Florida.
Eventually, time comes for everyone. And even Sidney Crosby’s backhand can’t hold off the time forever.
The Penguins missed the playoffs. Then they missed again. Their window—long the size of a cathedral—began to shrink. The Penguins were old. Like, very old. When the 2023-24 season came to a close almost all their key players were over-30, and some (Crosby, Malkin, Letang, Jeff Carter, Erik Karlsson) were closer to 40.
The Penguins had no semblance of a farm system. They had frittered away picks. They were a trainwreck in the making.
Normally this is where a rival fan gets to laugh. Loudly. Pettily. Possibly while posting memes.
But then Pittsburgh did something annoying. They adjusted.
