Behind The Scenes: The Tanner Glass Signing

Behind the Scenes is a feature I write on the site whenever an interesting transaction is made by the Rangers. I take a look inside the conversation that led to the transaction and listen in as the parties involved discuss possibilities. This is of course a parody post, so don't take it too seriously and enjoy!

Here is a transcript of the conversation between Glen Sather and Tanner Glass' agent Ross Gurney.

Glen Sather: Hey Ross, hold on a second I need my lucky cigar.

Ross Gurney: Glen, isn't that your third today?

GS: And your point is?

RG: Let's have a few drinks instead!

*the two drink fifteen beers each and then begin discussing Gurney's clients*

RG: So how about Tanner Glass, Glen. What a name, right?

GS: Alain Vigneault said something about him....I think he said he was a terrible player but a good guy? I can't remember.

RG: Glen, you must have drank a little too much. Tanner told me Alain thought the world of him and thought Glass could play first line minutes with the right team. He said it took a team that plays in a big city, is coming off of a Cup appearance, needs a fourth liner....

GS: That's us! Wow!

RG: Right. So Glen, would you want to let your coach down? He's not like Tortorella where there's a fun explosion after. Just a hollow, sad voice that will haunt your soul.

GS: That's true. I can't let him down. I'll take Glass.

RG: Great, but Glen, I don't think he's going to want to play in the AHL. We could work out a little NHL deal right? Tanner is a great guy he would be so happy.

GS: Sure! I like making people happy! That's why I traded for Ryan McDonagh actually, this scout wouldn't shut up about him! I sure showed him!

RG: So how about it Glen, what's the offer?

GS: Uhhhh three years? We want some control so when he hits his stride on the top line we'll have a bargain. That makes sense right?

RG: ....

RG: ....

RG: .....

RG: DEAL! Just fill in however much you want to pay him Glen, you are a great man. I owe you a few boxes of cigars.

GS: Why did you have that long pause?

RG: I just wanted to take in the steal of my career.

GS: What do you mean steal?

RG: Got your nose, Glen!

GS: Hey man that's not funny give it back!

*Glen Sather falls asleep and Ross Gurney fills out the contract papers.* The Rangers have a new fourth liner.